Imperfect Love

-



My love for John Legend brought me to create this poem for all you warriors out there on the path of recovery. This is for all you warriors out there. Inspired by John Legend's song, "All of Me" I found the word love has a hidden meaning that's deep and whole hearted and I am still learning. In the past, love to me was all about giving and doing for others. It was never about me. It was about the people around me. I had the idea of "If they are taken care of and well, I am well." However, that was a value I was taught and what I believed in.  Affection was not shown in my family and there was no discussion about love, therefore I don't crave for physical affection. I had to learn and re parent myself, such as self soothing, baths, music and reading. I learned this on my own with the help of my support system. What it means to be loved. How to love? I wrote this piece in response to a burnout period in 2016 and to cultivating my journey of self love. 

Imperfect Love by Laura Ng

When all of me loves all of you,
Love your curves and imperfections
Love your body like its war winning
Love your mind like it’s a clear river flowing
Love your spirit like its freestyling

When all of me feels all of you,
Feel each nerve connected to your systems as it transmit signals to your brain
Feel each joint connected to your body as it provides a range of motion so you can function
Feel each muscles connected to your body as it relaxes when snow is falling
Feel each part of your skin so clean and smooth

When all of me listens to all you,
Listening to your body aches and pain
Listening to your hopes, dreams and aspirations
Listening to your prayers as you drift to a peaceful sleep
Listening to your spirit and guiding you with a star

When all of me sees all of you
Seeing you for who you are
Seeing you for your hard work, accomplishments and dedication
Seeing your bright future full of opportunities and becoming a superstar
Seeing you for your commitment, perseverance and motivation

When all of me smells all of you
Smelling a fresh lavender scent everywhere you go
Smelling each strand of your silky black hair like oh la la
Smelling your courage on days when you deal with chronic pain
Smelling your bravery every time you fall as you stand too tall




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mindful Gratitude

-
Image
Stretching my neck, Feel it go down my spine, Like ocean waves, Stretching my back, Feel it pop and then crack, Like ripples of the lake, Flexing every joint, every muscle, every piece of my being Listen to every nerve in my body Feel it in my soul, in my chest, in my heart as an unwavering sense of calm. I need this calm like I need water, like I need oxygen. Too much has been uncertain about my life.  I breathe in deep and let it rush through me, enveloping my whole exterior and then penetrating my insides. I feel the waves crashing in around me, the hope for a new and better day where stress flies out the window. A quiet mood becomes me, sensing this new me, a harmonious bond between mind, body, and spirit. I close my eyes, smell the air, and think mindfully on this feeling. I meditate on all my senses, stopping to analyze my body and truly focus on each sensation; The way my eyes feel heavy as I close them, and the scent of rain in the air; the way the wind wi
Read more

Reborn Again.

-
Image
     Life is full of surprises. I never know what's going to happen or where I am going to be. I have some great news on my mental health and wellness. I am off my psychiatric medication today. My nurse practitioner told me that I am doing better and the depression seems to be in remission. Life seems to be on track.    Also, I may be reducing my caregiver hours because I've been feeling better and able to perform tasks on my own such as going grocery shopping, food prepping and some housework. Anyway, I went to the eye doctor last month and they found some drusen in my eye, which explains why my eyes have always been dry and having vision fuzziness. Drusen are the defining feature of the Macular Degeneration.  These drusen are small yellow or white spots on the retina.  What this means is I need to be extra careful of the sun and wear sunglasses and hats to protect my eyes as well as increase my vegetable intake.  Lately, I've been eating more kale and incorporating a gree
Read more

Mental Health and Asian Americans

-
My Chinese American Experience And Mental Health by Laura N. The term model minority is a racist term for many Asian Americans because it presumes that Asian Americans uphold the “perfect” example of success for other minority groups to follow. But the amount of pressure put on a particular race, to be the best, to achieve the best, causes anxiety and depression in Asian Americans. This idea of setting the “perfect” example is also at the family level and is often placed on the eldest child. Chinese Americans not only feel the stress from the misconceptions of model minority from society but also from trying to be the “perfect” example for younger siblings, while adhering to the strict standards of fulfilling filial piety. Filial Piety is defined as the requirement of children to offer love, respect, support, and deference to their parents and other elders in the family, such as grandparents or older siblings. For example, acts of filial piety include obeying one's parent'
Read more