Fearless Warrior

 I've been speaking to myself, "I accept who I am and I am beautiful" in every single way. This affirmation is a very hard one to accept and live by. Recently, I have been hospitalized in March due to mania and lost my strength. I was given a high dose of 1000 mg of prednisone for the lupus and an anti-psychotic called Olanzapine. I had been on anti depressants before back in high school but had to be back on them to help with my depression and mania. I am going through body and self image changes all over again like when this happened in high school and middle school. I gained some weight and fat around my belly and my face. I tell myself, this is what God has given me and I will learn to accept what ever changes happen. I try to workout and practice movement everyday, but sometimes the fatigue and chronic pain kicks in once in awhile and I have to surrender. What keeps me motivated are affirmations I speak "I accept who I am and I am beautiful" in every single

Brave is waking up in the morning even though your soul is weary, your heart aches and your joints are stiff and twisty Brave is when you keep striving, thriving and surviving Brave is when you push away the ocean waves rolling in and out every day  But you don't drown and you rather swim away the pain Brave is taking a deep breath and exhaling the darkness of life Every day and every night Brave is letting go what no longer serves you and allowing yourself to no longer feel troubled Brave is allowing yourself to feel emotions even if they are uncomfortable I know there are days when you feel like giving up but I think you are brave for not giving up when times are rough Written by Laura Ng Photo taken at Sculpture Park

My Chinese American Experience And Mental Health by Laura N. The term model minority is a racist term for many Asian Americans because it presumes that Asian Americans uphold the “perfect” example of success for other minority groups to follow. But the amount of pressure put on a particular race, to be the best, to achieve the best, causes anxiety and depression in Asian Americans. This idea of setting the “perfect” example is also at the family level and is often placed on the eldest child. Chinese Americans not only feel the stress from the misconceptions of model minority from society but also from trying to be the “perfect” example for younger siblings, while adhering to the strict standards of fulfilling filial piety. Filial Piety is defined as the requirement of children to offer love, respect, support, and deference to their parents and other elders in the family, such as grandparents or older siblings. For example, acts of filial piety include obeying one's parent'

Stretching my neck, Feel it go down my spine, Like ocean waves, Stretching my back, Feel it pop and then crack, Like ripples of the lake, Flexing every joint, every muscle, every piece of my being Listen to every nerve in my body Feel it in my soul, in my chest, in my heart as an unwavering sense of calm. I need this calm like I need water, like I need oxygen. Too much has been uncertain about my life.  I breathe in deep and let it rush through me, enveloping my whole exterior and then penetrating my insides. I feel the waves crashing in around me, the hope for a new and better day where stress flies out the window. A quiet mood becomes me, sensing this new me, a harmonious bond between mind, body, and spirit. I close my eyes, smell the air, and think mindfully on this feeling. I meditate on all my senses, stopping to analyze my body and truly focus on each sensation; The way my eyes feel heavy as I close them, and the scent of rain in the air; the way the wind wi

Mindful Writing is writing with awareness   and   intention Awareness is noticing your surroundings, using your five senses; vision, smell, hear, taste and touch Intention is creating a desirable plan, a plan for yourself for that day. Whatever it may be. Some examples of intention are... I intend to lead by  example . I intend to love unconditionally. I intend to stop taking things personally. I intend to manifest happiness naturally. I intend to see the goodness around me. I intend to be kind even when under pressure. Each day, allow yourself to take some quiet time for yourself  Allow yourself to write mindfully with intention and peace Allow yourself to notice your thoughts, feelings and emotions  Acknowledge them without judgement Honor your body As it is your sacred temple Honor your mind  As it sends signals to all parts of your body How you think will depend on how you feel Remember to always have a attitude of gratitude  Na

My love for John Legend brought me to create this poem for all you warriors out there on  the path of recovery.  This is for all you warriors out there. Inspired by John Legend's song, "All of Me" I found the word love has a hidden meaning that's deep and whole hearted and I am still learning. In the past, love to me was all about giving and doing for others. It was never about me. It was about the people around me. I had the idea of "If they are taken care of and well, I am well." However, that was a value I was taught and what I believed in.  Affection was not shown in my family and there was no discussion about love, therefore I don't crave for physical affection. I had to learn and re parent myself, such as self soothing, baths, music and reading. I learned this on my own with the help of my support system. What it means to be loved. How to love? I wrote this piece in response to a burnout period in 2016 and to cultivating my journey of self love