Fearless Warrior

Who am I? I am Laura Ng. But is Laura Ng my full identity? Am I just made up of letters? These are questions that constantly pop up in my mind. I will never forget that night in 1993 when the ambulance came and took me to the ER. Bright white lights shine through my eyes as if they were taking over my body.  My head was bleeding and people in white coats surrounded me.  After that, tests indicated a stroke affecting my right side of my brain. When I woke up, I was told I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus; a severe form of lupus that affects all organs including the brain.  There is no cure for it. However, there are medications and lifestyle changes to help manage it says the doctor.  After hearing the news, my family and I were devastated, torn and didn't know what to do but listen to the doctors.  My family and I were in denial for many years and I lost faith and hope in myself. My identity was shattered into a million pieces. I felt broken...

Today, we celebrate Thanksgiving. A day in history in which the Native Americans and pilgrims gathered together to celebrate a successful harvest and peace. What are you thankful? Below is my list. 1. Friends 2. Family 3. My healthcare team 4. My medication 5. My heat pad 6. Heated items 7. The Lupus Foundation of America 8. The Seattle Lupus Support Group 9. Lupus Warriors 10. Internet 11. Food 12. Shelter 13. Water 14. Not having a flare today 15. My church family 16. My salsa community 17. My yoga community 18. My iphone Living with lupus can be especially challenging because of the stress, cold weather and inflammatory foods but today I suggest all of you eat whatever you want but be mindful at the same time.  It's a day to treat yourself and celebrate it with your loved ones.  But don't forget to say thank you. We often think Thanksgiving is all about football and lots of food. Below is a video that explains What you didn't know about Thanksgivin...

Always be you- do what makes you happy, dance like there's no tomorrow, sing like you own the concert Be your own warrior- train yourself to fight and let go of fear, train yourself to be aware of your thoughts, feelings,emotions and notice your actions Needing nothing attracts everything- uncluttering our homes is the first step to creating space in our lives Be grateful of the smaller things rather than material things Be still. Meditation is great for the brain Move on if it's no longer adding value to your life Get lost in yourself Laughter is the best medicine Be your own warrior Impossible means I am possible.  Falling is a part of life Always be prepare for the worst

Accepting myself and Lupus was the most difficult part of my life. When I was told that I will have Lupus for the rest of my life and that there is no cure for it created an incredible hole in my world. It created damaged to my self confidence and self esteem. It caused me great anger, devastation and frustration as a child. Why can't I play in the snow like other kids? MOM, why are my fingers and toes turning purple and blue? Why do I have to eat veggies? It led me into a deep depression and anxiety.  As a child living with Lupus, I didn't know what was going on with my body and my family didn't really know anything about lupus at that time. I didn't know why I was getting sick after eating McDonald's or why I was getting a headache every time I drink coca cola. I was a pretty healthy child. I was not only physically active but intellectually as well. I ran, I biked and and danced. I took ballet and art class.  Wrote for the school newspaper, participated in variou...

She is a natural born leader, leading those who wish to follow She is an educator, activist and an advocate, teaching people to not only to advocate for themselves but others She is a trainer, training only those who wish to be trained She is a peacemaker, spreading hope and joy to those who surround her She is a community organizer bringing people of all ages, race, gender, ethnicity and walks of life together She is a philosopher and a writer, always thinking of the greatest quotes and stories Call her "The Queen of Quotes" She is her own case manager, always gathering new resources and managing her own life She is an integrative health and wellness promoter, sharing personal experiences to empower people in all walks of life She is a model, empowering people to look within themselves for strength and power She is a feminist, motivating women of all backgrounds, age and gender to be confident and comfortable in their own skin and allowing them to voice ...

As a Masters in Social Work graduate with living with lupus. A stroke survivor. An Asian American woman. Re-entering the workforce is very difficult because I do not look sick.   Brain fog has become a serious issue that I face on a daily basis. There are many times where I am in talking with that train of thought and I suddenly forget the next sentence or word. Then my co worker just stares at me and asks  "and.....?" Yes. I get frustrated. I get frustrated a lot. Knowing I have this condition, I really need to make sure I enforce and create a memory system that works for me. It sucks but I have to do it. I keep two calendars, a phone calendar and a notebook calendar with color coding to distinguish medical appointments and other appointments. Sticky notes are my best friends and I don't think I could ever live without them. I have a white board hanging on my fridge for daily tasks, grocery list or whatever. Many people say, "Oh you are too young for that" beca...

I was looking through my file cabinet and found my middle school poetry report. I wrote this during my IV treatments at the hospital. This poem was also published in the school newspaper. It is written in the form of an iambic pentameter, which is " a line of verse with five metrical feet, each consisting of one short (or unstressed) syllable followed by one long (or stressed) syllable, for example  Two households, both alike in dignity ." (Google) Enjoy! My Life Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped inside myself No bright lights at the end of the tunnel Wishing for a life filled with joy and wealth My life spirals like a funnel I've been through hell and I know what it's like Times are dimmed now; I wish they were better, My life is rough like a treacherous hike I can't express this feeling in letters Now I have a new perspective on life Always pushing myself to greater heights Maybe someday I'll be a loving wife Now I am beginning to see...